Tonight I packed my bag for the inevitable hospital stay. No bra needed. Of course, I did pack my post-surgical wrap (Ace bandage type thingy) and made sure to have a button-up shirt along. Last year around this time, I was happily beginning to pack for our trip to the beach and family in Florida.
My husband took the littles into “town” and gave me time and space to nest and pack. Seriously, he is the Best. Dad. Ever. They are all enjoying the winter parade and Christmas celebration together. I would normally be with for events like this, but quite honestly, I have ZERO interest in sitting out in the cold weather and watching a parade. I’d rather stay home and clean and scrub the house as I prepare for surgery.
I’m looking forward to crossing this next step off the list. In fact, if I could fast-forward through the healing and radiation treatments, I’d be one happy camper.
My sister-in-law has graciously taken on the task of having my littles stay with her family in southern Minnesota for a few days after surgery. I can’t imagine my husband having to balance my needs for those first few days and also caring for our angelic children. I’m afraid it would be a weekend of me pushing myself beyond my limits and the kiddos wanting to “help” take care of mom. I fear if they were going to be here, they would have negative memories of this part of my cancer process.
A week ago, surgery felt like it was eons away. Now, I feel like it’s happening way too fast. It’ll be here before I know it. I have so much anxiety and so many fears that the surgery will be more involved than anticipated. Or that my surgeon will have to postpone surgery for one reason or another.
My hair is starting to remember that it’s supposed to grow. About a week ago, some “peach fuzz” began to appear on my scalp. It still isn’t much more than that, but I’m SO excited to see what color it is when it does come in. I’ve heard so many stories of change after chemo that I am positive that my hair will be flowing blond locks of thick healthy hair. However, at this point, I’ll take what I can get!