Tomorrow is it. Tomorrow, I’ll be done with radiation therapy.
I’ve undergone 8 months of non-stop treatments/surgeries/procedures/tests/therapy and it’ll FINALLY be over. In this space of time, my life has completely changed. Not only have I lost my breasts and hair, but I’ve gained a body full of scars and burns that I can’t remember what it used to look like.
I honestly don’t know what I’ll do next week when I don’t have to drive to the Cancer Center. I’m used to scheduling everything around my daily radiation appointments.
I’m finding my transition back into life isn’t as seamless or as easy as I thought it would be. I’d been forced into giving up the reigns on so many tasks that I’m struggling with picking up where I left off. All of the decisions I didn’t have the energy to make and all of the things I was unable to do I’d left for my husband. He has been my lifesaver on many occasions, but I almost feel as though I don’t fit in anymore. Don’t get me wrong, I do fit and Brad has been very patient in all of this, including my transition back, but it’s still not easy. He has had to see me so incredibly broken and also parent in the same day. When we weren’t sure how all of this was going to go, he was the one who continually picked me up. He planned with me, listened to me, took notes at my appointments and helped me be ok with whatever was to come. Now, we get to take a giant breath and live.
So, tomorrow, it’s finally time. Tomorrow we will have done it.