Moving On

In a couple of weeks, we will be heading down to Austin for one of the very last times. Austin is the place where my love grew up. It’s where all the stories of high school, hockey, bike riding, parties and other such shenanigans took place. This is a place I’ve taken many morning runs while visiting. I’ve biked the trails while smelling that Hormel smell I’ve (kind of) gotten used to. My mother-in-law and father-in-law are ready to move on. I’m so proud of them for living the lives they want to and for traveling to places I’ve dreamed of. But, I really hate goodbyes.

Today I began prepping our nursery for paint. When we moved here, nearly 8 years ago, I painted it a beautiful lavender, that was really a baby blue. I wanted it to be the perfect color for my baby girl who wasn’t yet a year old. Little did we know, this baby blue would be perfect for our little surprise package the stork would be delivering in about 8 months from move-in. Our baby girl was swiftly kicked into the middle child seat and out of the blue nursery.

Tomorrow the nursery will become the spare room.

It’s so strange being here, with the ability to witness and be a part of these changes I never thought I would. Less than a year ago, I didn’t think I would experience real-life feelings again. Everything was about cancer. I wonder when I’ll be able to let my guard down and not worry so much about how many tomorrows I’ll get. I wonder if I’ve lived through the worst of it all.

Tomorrow I get to wake up living my best life. I have the best family, the best friends and now the best job.

Goodbye nursery.

Hellooooooooo to the rest of my life!

Testing, Testing 1-2-3

Everyone handles stress differently. Me- I usually try to keep to myself but tend to be crabby and closed off.

This Monday I had my first non-cancer check-up. By the end of my appointment, I was referred to a specialist and a different general practitioner. Why? Abnormal results during my exam.

The first thing I thought to myself is that I CANNOT do this again. I WILL NOT do this again… of course, none of that is true but it’s really hard to imagine repeating this last year.

As it turns out, I’m probably just fine, but I’m not sure that I’ll ever get used to “regular” appointments again.

I was able to spend a couple of days with a very good family friend this week who just started his battle. His cancer is different than mine and so is his treatments. Every single day this week, he has spent 7 hours hooked up at the infusion center. Wednesday and Thursday, I was his chemo buddy. I forced him to learn cribbage, we caught up on the past 20 years and chatted about our parents who are BFFs.

Near the end of the day Thursday, he started to worry about tasks that needed to be done at work and whether or not he should go in when we drove home from his fourth consecutive day of chemotherapy.

The entire time we spent together, I was reminded of his dad who died 25 years ago. His mannerisms, kindness, honesty and best of all his sense of humor. I was blown away that this once boy that I knew, was an awesome man that I still need to know. Although I wish he didn’t have to go through cancer, I’m forever grateful that he has been tied to a chair and forced to hang out with me for 2 whole days.

Thank you, husband, for giving me the two days away to do this ❤️

Vacay

It’s officially been 3 weeks today since I have checked out of the hospital. I have been getting used to my new body and wearing my abdominal band 24-7.

We went camping as a family of four over the week. I enjoyed (almost) every moment of it. The first 3 days were spent at Gull Lake, the last 5 at Itasca State Park. I didn’t swim at the headwaters, as I can’t go in lake/river water yet, and have to buy a swimsuit that will fit I suppose. Not rushing to do that quite yet 😏.

I’ve found a lot of muscle tone and any definition I had has disappeared completely through healing and chemo. The gym has been calling my name. Honestly though about 2 minutes into my cardio workout I feel like I’ve never done this a day in my life. Aside from all the cancer stuff, while having reconstruction, my surgeons found a ventral hernia, which they called in another surgeon to repair while I was under anesthesia, which I’m so grateful for. I can’t imagine having to have that repaired at a different time!

Please God, don’t let me die of a heart attack my first day back at the gym.