The amount of surgeries I’ve had within the last year. Approximately $750,000 in treatments, surgeries and medications.
Over 100 appointments since last June.
I’ve been completely without hair. No eyebrows, no eye lashes, no nose hair (I went through my body weight in tissues. Daily), no leg hair….
I’ve lost feeling in my feet and fingertips from chemo, I’m in medical menopause and I have no lymph nodes on my right side from my neck to my hip.
My scars are gnarly. So damn ugly.
My lungs will never be the same from radiation. Neither will my skin. My port scar is awful. I can still tell where it attached and entered my jugular AND my heart. There is a large scoop of muscle and tissue gone where it sat proudly next to my breasts that USED to be there.
In 5 days I’ll have the last of my surgeries from cancer ( fingers crossed). It’ll be my eighth time being put under general anesthesia in 15 months. I’m not taking any time off of work and I’m planning to be back to regular workouts by Monday-ish.
The thing is, I was diagnosed with stage III cancer. Stage. III. One more factor and it would have been no chance of surviving and completely eliminating cancer. I still have a 28% chance of dying within 5 years from cancer. Probably in my lungs or liver, maybe my brain. All of these things I’ve been told by my doctor or his representative. All of these things might happen.
Today I choose to kick ass at the gym, pop wheelies on the lawn mower and smile every chance I get. I don’t care about my statistics most of the time. I don’t usually count how many surgeries I’ve had or symptoms I woke up with. I’ll either live or I’ll die.
Friday is surgery day. My dad will come make sure the littles are safe off the bus and I’m sure Mom will send goodies or a meal. My bro will make fun of me for not getting my steps in for the day (so old), but I hope to make it out as the best version of myself.
Whether I get hit by a bus or die on the spin bike at the gym from exhaustion, it’ll happen. I don’t know when and I don’t know how, but I know that I have today.
Past surgeries in pictures: