Wintertime Blues

Today was just one of those days. It started out that way and it’ll likely end the same. Today I was feeling good and sorry for myself. I felt like I took hit after hit and couldn’t recover.

I’ll be honest, in my daily life, I will put forth 100% in everything I do. The very definition of an over-achiever. I do everything I can, every single day to make other people feel good. It’s in my nature. I greet as many students as I can when they enter the clinic in the morning, and I smile as often as I want. It feels good. I’ve noticed my wrinkles getting a little deeper by the day and my eyes not being as open as they once were, but I guess it was bound to happen sooner or later…

This week has been a challenge in my personal life. Behavior issues with one of my children, family that has fallen ill and other relationships that are seeming to change without my control. This week is a struggle to stay happy and motivated. It’s a struggle to manage those things that are out of my control. It’s a struggle to parent. It’s a struggle to know if I’m making the right decisions.

At least today is the first day of spring. Winter be damned.

Getting Jiggy With It

Let me tell you what. Shopping for a gown at the age of 39 when it’s prom season is really damn stressful. I’ve said it before, I hate shopping, if it’s for myself.

In just under 2 weeks, I’m one of the honored guests at the first gala for an incredible non-profit that supports cancer warriors in their fight. I happened to be last year’s March warrior. If you missed it, check it out here!

Please excuse the lack of hair and breasts 😩.

Being a part of this gala has given me the opportunity to fit my new body into a beautiful gown. I went to the mall today and attempted to find something that would work. It was kind of dreamy! I never went to prom way back then, so it’s kind of a treat! Let me tell you something. There are some stunning gowns at the mall. But, once again, it’s prom season. So what does that mean? That I was in the juniors section with a whole lot of teenagers trying on the same gowns. I didn’t hear them trying to shimmy past the child-bearing hips in their dressing rooms. Or the tell-tale jumping that happens when trying on an item that’s just-too-small. I’ll say this. It was a workout. I found a few that looked beautiful. One of them showed side-boob, or in my case, lots of scars, one of them was cut too low in the cleavage area for me (WTH are teenagers doing wearing these things?????), which also means scars and the last one that I loved was $250. I should have checked that before trying it on.

Screw the gowns. I went ahead and bought makeup instead.

I hope that I can pull off something by then. Maybe a paper sack? Maybe a sheet fashioned into a toga? Meh. I’ve got two weeks. Maybe I’ll lose those last few lbs by then too 😂.