This Is 40

My eyes are closed as I write this. I’m pretending that it’s not real, and I’m not quite ready to admit it. But, well, it’s a real struggle. 40. It’s here. Tomorrow. I’m honestly trying to remain positive and realize that it’s just a number. But, really? Screw that. It’s not just a number, it’s 40.

Honestly, I had no idea that I’d make it here. Two years ago, I didn’t even THINK about 40. It wasn’t in the realm of possibility to be older than 37 or 38. Now? Well, $hit. I guess I’m almost there.

I’m not sure that I’m ready for this next chapter. The previous decade was a shit storm of unfortunate events, but, some rather amazing ones as well. I had Baby Beckham, but I also had melanoma. I finished my bachelors degree and truly found the best career ever, but I also had stage 3 breast cancer. I began to foster my love for travel. Not always far away, but sometimes.

I’m getting used to pulling the 32′ camper behind the truck and maneuvering into some beautiful camping spots for me and the kids in the summertime. We still get out as a family, but I really love that time with them (mostly 😂).

It’s no secret that I hate winter and I hate getting old. I was always so worried that I was going to die in March. Or April. It’d be just my luck to make it all the way through some crazy winter, only to die before the sunshine and beauty of Minnesota comes through with spring.

For now, I guess I’ll have to put up with getting older, but you bet your ass I’m going to wear a good facial mask and wonder why the hell I’ve been plagued with a zit on the eve of my 40th birthday.

Cheers, friends. For another decade of life. For more accomplished goals, less debt and continued freedom. For all the travel you can get and the good friends to tell your stories to. Cheers to you and me and all the good that there is.

Goodbye 39! You’ve been swell!