Wow.
I had no idea I would have all of these feelings.
It’s Hockey Tournament Season and our B is playing the PeeWee Hockey tournament in Brad’s hometown. I haven’t driven here since Brad’s funeral.
On the way down, I recognized the scenery the whole way, knowing the drive by heart. For 15 years or so, while Brad’s mom and dad still lived here, we drove the exact same path. Plus or minus some road construction detours and restaurants coming and going… but it hit me the second we drove through a tiny familiar town and I began to give Beckham an entire story about a car the Brad bought with his dad. As we slowed into town, the Sports Pub/hotel that Brad had his high school reunion at, and the gym I got a weekly or daily pass to so I could work out while we stayed in town.
As we turned onto the highway and my map was guiding me to the arena, I drove to the next exit so I could go back to the old neighborhood by East Side Lake and the drug store where I used to shop with my mother-in-law. I drove by the liquor store we would go to and the flower shop with its cutesy little window.
All I could think of was having the comfort of home and Cole. He is so incredibly understanding in allowing me to cry and work through it all. Honestly. The support I have felt and the space he has given me to continuously grieve is immeasurable.
Then to the arena. We’ve made it. In this snowy-winter bullshit weather.
Let’s go, Charging Dragons!
Bethactually 